“Dropping Anchor”
I got some news tonight that I really didn’t want. News that left me feeling poorly about myself and uncertain about the future. I cried, I talked to my best friend, I talked to my partner, I emailed my therapist, and I cried some more. I felt lost. I felt angry and frustrated. I felt a lot of things.
In my therapy, we use a scale called “SUDS” (Subjective Units of Distress) to help me quickly evaluate where I am at and what sort of skills would be helpful to use. Think of the pain scale you see at your medical doctor’s office, but this time it’s for your mental health. Level 1 would be manageable, little to no distress. Level 10 would be absolutely unmanageable and the worst distress possible. For me and my treatment plan, we’ve agreed that anything from Levels 1-6 are situations where I try to acknowledge the anxiety/distress, make space for it, sit with it, and then let it pass on its own. For Levels 7-10, I use the coping skills I’ve learned over the years to help lower the anxiety/distress to a more manageable level then sit with it and let it pass.
Well, today my SUDS hit a 6, so I got a hug from my partner, petted my pup, and used some calming aids (my favorite is this Ambient Coral Reef video on Youtube) to help bring the distress level back down a bit. Next, I did a mindfulness exercise called “Dropping Anchor” by Russ Harris (you can find the free audio on his page here). “Dropping Anchor” is an exercise to help with grounding and coming back to the present moment - mentally and physically. This is honestly one of the very few mindfulness exercises that is helpful for me personally. Many of the others utilize imagery and my brain just doesn’t work that way. “Dropping Anchor” is more sensory based - asking you to notice what’s in your mind and what you’re feeling in your body then use your body to help ground you. In however many years of therapy, I had never heard of this one till I got to my current therapist about five years ago. First I was resistant to the exercise, but once I gave it a chance, it became one of my most effective coping skills. I don’t use it nearly as much as I could/should, but thankfully I remembered it today and gave it a chance. I still feel worry and frustration in my mind and body, but my distress is at a much more manageable level and I can think more clearly. I was able to drop anchor and wait out the storm tonight and can now better evaluate how to move forward.
Every person will respond differently to various coping skills and everyone needs to find what works for them. I want to acknowledge that sometimes the path to finding what works is long and frustrating and I wish I had a magic wand that revealed the answers immediately because omg that’d make dealing with tough times so much easier! Or maybe you come up with a coping plan at one point, but then down the road it’s not working as well for you anymore and you need to adapt and revise it. The good news is that there are endless skills and tools out there and you can customize and be as creative as you want.
*Side note: Through recent treatment for OCD I’ve learned that sometimes coping skills can turn into avoidance techniques which are counterproductive for OCD treatment. I am in a unique spot in treatment where I need to balance doing exposure therapy for the OCD with using coping skills appropriately as needed. What I’ve shared in this blog post is just my personal story and I recommend talking to a mental health provider if you’re unsure of what this looks like for you.
